Box of Mourning DIY

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Rouwtakenbox, een kubus met daarop 6 kleurrijke afbeeldingen van mensfiguren. Geschilderd door Daisy Luiten die uitbeelden hoe zij een verlies heeft ervaren.
Meerdere rouwtakenboxen, dezelfde kubussen met daarop 6 kleurrijke afbeeldingen van mensfiguren. Geschilderd door Daisy Luiten die uitbeelden hoe zij een verlies heeft ervaren.

Examine your way of dealing with loss and/or a major event. Grab the Box of Mourning and see where you stand in your process. You might gain more insight into yourself and your environment and/or this will support you.
 
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Price range: € 11.98 through € 43.18

Explanation of the Box of Mourning

The Box of Mourning helps to understand where you are in the mourning process. It gives insight in how you deal with the situation. The Box of Mourning is a combination of the theory of Professor J.W. Worden about mourning AND the pictures I painted as an adolescent to explain how I experienced the loss of my mother. When I found the tasks of mourning after I finished my paintigs they matched exactly. The paintings help to make the theory more visable and understandable to children, teens and adults.

The boxes can be used by different kinds of loss. I use them regularly in my practice. Children, teens and adults take them home to work with them and to talk to their family members.

The tasks of mourning

The tasks of mourning are developed by Professor J.W. Worden (USA). In short he says: “Grieving is hard work, it makes you very tired.” There are 4 tasks that you should fulfill in your development:

  • Task 1 To Accept the reality of the loss
  • Task 2 Experiencing the pain of the loss
  • Task 3 Adjusting to the new environment without your loved one / to the new reality
  • Task 4 Reinvest in the new reality

Worden gave them numbers, but people go from one task to another without specific order. That also means that you can experience them more often and in different orders. Within families everyone works on their own task, this task can be different from others. And I would like to mention that there is no good or wrong. Knowing that every process is unique and that you can jump from one task to another can give understanding and support.

Within families I often use the box to explain that when you are busy with your task, it is hard to see the other task. They are literally around the corner. And if you look at it this way, you can imagine it is hard to see and understand others who are working on a different task. To look at it from a distance, with this box, it makes it more clear.

What you receive

The Boxes of Mourning:

  • are delivered in a set of 6, 12, 24 of 36 boxes (choose option).
  • come with an explanation on the tasks of mourning
  • appear each as a carton box, which measures 70x70x70 mm.
  • are delivered flat, but can simply be folded into a box.
  • come each with a set of stickers with the tasks of mourning. You can stick them (Do It Yourself) as written in the short manual.
  • one out of 6 boxes already has stickers on the sides.
  • after puting the stickers in place the box can be folded into a box.
An example from my practice

There are many more useful models and theories. What I like about the tasks of mourning is that I can see where someone is in their process. As an art therapist I can connect in a creative way, using art. I often use the box of mourning. It gives clients insight: What you experience is OK, it may be there, it is part of the grieving process.

For example, I guided a girl (7) whose parents were divorced. Her father just moved in with his new girlfriend and they were having a baby together. The girl was now 'realizing' (task 1) that mom and dad would never get together anymore. In addition, she was often sad when she went to see her father (task 2). She found it difficult to show her sadness because she was the only one who felt that way. With help of the Box of Mourning I was able to explain this girl which tasks she was doing, and together we could see that her father was now in task 4. This made her understand that he was not sad at this moment.

When her father came to pick her up, we explained this insight with him. And he said: 'You know, when I just found out that we were getting a divorce, I was in that black part (task 2). I was very sad, I even cried at work sometimes.' His daughter was surprised, but also pleased to hear this.
By looking at the process with the Box of Mourning, father and daughter understood each other better. The father recognized the process of his daughter and he was able to give more space for her feelings. The girl now saw that this is 'normal' and that her father also went through that part. In this way, the grief task box can provide support.