Are you a well qualified therapist who knows when to put the right questions? Then this tool is something for you.
All the Stars Above
Find out your client’s essential feelings, thoughts and worries in just a few questions.
Download our free information guide here & discover the power of this tool
- Gain insight into the All the Stars Above tool
- Discover a method that allows clients to share essential feelings, thoughts and concerns in a short time allowing you to quickly get to the heart of the matter
- Discover how you can communicate with your client about painful experiences in a pleasant and natural manner
- Read case studies about how colleague therapists have successfully used All the Stars Above with their clients
- Get started yourself with the attached question cards!
Click on this button to subscribe and to receive the free guide with information
and/or to go to the information and order page
Be aware: this tool is only meant for use by professionals, such as psychologists, therapists, coaches, counselors and social workers!
The therapeutic tool that invites your clients in sharing their feelings, thoughts and worries in a pleasant way, after the death of their dear one
All the Stars Above
All the Stars Above is a therapeutic tool specially developed for therapists working with grieving people (ages 6-100).
This tool provides ways for clients of all ages to interact about difficult feelings and subjects that are avoided in daily life.
It can be used with families, groups and individuals. The aim is to encourage communication.
Be aware: this tool is only meant for use by professionals, such as psychologists, therapists, coaches, counselors and social workers!
Order this tool NOW and receive the quick-start workshop video for free!
Daisy Luiten – Art therapist specializing in grief and loss
Developer of All the Stars Above
“When I was a teenager, some drastic experiences happened to me. And I had a hard time sharing my feelings. Fortunately I found some people on my path who helped me. I became an art therapist to be able to help others. My mission now is to help people worldwide to go on living after a radical experience in their life.
By developping tools, such as All the Stars Above, I carry out my mission to facilitate communication around loss and bereavement on a natural and pleasurable way. This way people of all ages can integrate their experiences in their lives and take up the thread of their narratives.
I am very grateful that so many therapists are already using my tools! Thank you!”
How does it work?
Playing the game
Participants choose their own tear for walking across the game board. Those tears symbolically become pearls when the participants share their stories.
They follow the route on the board and will pass categories such as feelings, the dying, memories, the funeral or the environment. When a participant lands on a square he receives a corresponding question or assignment card.
With the help of those questions and assignments, the participants are invited to share their feelings, thoughts and worries.
Role of the therapist
As a therapist you work from your own theoretic background. The game is used as part of a session.
During the game you are the game leader. You explain how it works, you manage the card tray and you listen and look what comes up at your clients address. You commit interventions as in every other session.
You can play the game as long as you wish, 45 to 90 minutes, this also depends on the number of participants.
Make sharing about loss manageable for your clients
What benefits do you gain as a therapist?
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Valuable material at hand that allows you to quickly get to the heart of the matter
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Effective sessions
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Clients who share essential feelings, thoughts and concerns
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That what really concerns your clients comes up in a natural, playful manner and within a short time
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Being able to be present with your full attention, while at the same time leaning back because the tool does most of the work
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Unique offer for your clients and a boost for your practice.
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Satisfied clients:
- Sad and painful experiences become manageble.
- The game is a pleasant way to work on a painful experience.
- Asking short questions and continuing the game gives clients the opportunity to tell their story at their own pace.
- Clients gain insight into their own process (what is working, what doesn’t yet).
- Clients are gaining insight with the help of the therapist.
- Taking active steps (by playing the game and answering the questions) in order to ultimately pick up the thread of life again.
- The feeling that something is being achieved together with the therapist.
- Experience more bonding within the family after playing this game together.
Testimonials of users of All the Stars Above
Brett Walwyn – Psychotherapist (UK)
shares his experiences with the tool All the Stars Above
Judith Pidgeon, bereavement coach (UK)
About her experiences with the therapeutic tool All the Stars Above
Leoniek van der Maarel, psychologist and hypnotherapist (Netherlands)
About what she thinks of All the Stars Above
Recommendations for All the Stars Above from the United States
J. William Worden, Ph.D. ABPP, Co-Director, Harvard Child Bereavement Study, Author of Children & Grief: When a Parent Dies (Guilford Press)
Robert A. Neimeyer, PhD, Author of Lessons of Loss and Editor of Death Studies.
J. William Worden is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association and holds academic appointments at Harvard Medical School and the Rosemead Graduate School of Psychology in California. He is also co-principal investigator for Harvard’s Child Bereavement Study, based at Massachusetts General Hospital.
Robert A. Neimeyer is Professor of Psychology, University of Memphis, where he maintains an active clinical practice. He also directs the Portland Institute for Loss and Transition, which provides training internationally in grief therapy. He often gives inspiring courses about loss and his narrative approach.
Recommentation J. William Worden, Ph.D.
“Bereaved children often have difficulty sharing their thoughts and feelings about death with family and others. All the Stars Above is a very creative way to help these children identify and discuss their confusions and worries. It is especially effective for use with families and bereavement groups, but I have also found it useful when working with bereaved children one on one.
Daisy Luiten is to be commended for designing this creative approach that will appeal to children of all ages. Those working with bereaved children and families will want to add this to their inventory of intervention materials.”
Recommendation Robert A. Neimeyer Ph.D.
“All the Stars Above is an inspired intervention, a practical procedure to facilitate precisely the sort of mutual storytelling that helps a family make sense of loss, and make sense of each other in its wake. I recommend it to all creative clinicians who want to reach into the silence of wordless suffering, and help families find a way forward in the aftermath of unwelcome change.”
All the Stars Above incorporates topical events
All the Stars Above contains different categories of questions, one of them is ‘dying’ to focus on what happened. Some causes of death raise their own specific questions. Therefore extra cards are supplied, for instance in case of a disease, coma, accident, suicide or murder.
Virus outbreak cards
Due to Covid-19 and all causes of death during the Covid-19 pandemic, we expanded All the Stars Above with 39 extra cards (on top of the 700 cards in the tray).
We found questions that are important to ask with respect to the painful situations in which next-of-kin had to say goodbye from their loved ones (during the dying-process and during the funeral services). So these questions are now added to the tool.
As a therapist you can add these cards to the decks ‘dying’ or ‘funeral’ when this situation is applicable. The cards are recognizable with dots at the bottom. So afterwards you can remove the cards again.
Taking care of current events
All the Stars Above also incorporates other current events that have changed the lives of next of kin drastically. Extra questions invite to share about dying in a war situation, dying during military service, being killed in natural disasters and dying after terrorism.
These extra cards are supplied in the back of the card tray. The therapist can use them when the specifice cause of death is applicable. The asterics and dots at the bottom of the playing cards refer to the cause of death (explanation can be found in the manual, page 14).
Developed on demand of therapists
Origin
All the Stars Above came into existance on demand of therapists. They experienced a lot of inconvenience during sessions with their clients. “He is my brother, he was there, what do you want me to say?” or “Where do I have to start?” “I don’t know what I should say”.
Unconfortable silences appeared constantly. There was a need to facilitate communicating about the death of a dear one. All the Stars Above now anticipates in that need. People of all ages open up during All the Stars Above.
As a client mentioned: “What had happened was overwhelming, it was so good to be able to tell my story in small parts. This game makes sharing about the loss manageable!”
Need of connection
During the development of All the Stars Above I talked with many children, adolescents and adults. They often seemed to live on their own island since the loss.
I also spoke with a variety of therapists specialising in bereavement counselling. Many of them experienced a great need for people to connect with each other after a loss.
That’s why I conceived the idea of helping people by finding a new way of communicating after the death of their loved one.
All the Stars Above meets the desire of the next of kin to discuss the loss of their loved one.
Training
One to one online workshop
During this one to one workshop I will give you background information and I will explain how to use All the Stars Above.
You will have an excellent opportunity to ask all your questions.
Depending on the time left you get to play All the Stars Above via the webcam so you will actually experience how it works.
If you are by any chance visiting the Netherlands, please feel welcome to have this workshop at my practice!
Experiences of therapists and coaches
Susan Clachers, Bereavement Counsellor,
Child Bereavement UK
“We are using All the Stars Above more and more and generally the families love it. It helped my clients to talk about issues they had not been able to previously. The results I have had are very encouraging considering the issues which are being talked about and the fact most people want to continue or play again soon. I think they like it because it helps them to face the difficult thoughts, feelings and worries which they would otherwise find very difficult or impossible to talk about – it takes them there to the painful places they avoid.”
Agatha van Irsel, bereavement counsellor,
Netherlands
“…Every time the hearts of the participants are opened for each other. And every individual participant gets in contact with what lives inside their own heart.”
Gerda Schmidt, bereavement counsellor
(Netherlands)
“I used All the Stars Above with a number of adolescents. All teenagers liked the nice way to work with their grief. Some of them especially liked the creative expression (to draw and to color) and others enjoyed writing poems. And someone else appreciated the variation between serious and funny assignments. It also appealed to their curiosity. Over and over again they wondered what question or assignment would appear. We shared beautiful moments and they all opened up so much!!
To me it is a beautiful and special experience… To be able to work with adolescents and to connect with their grief, to see teenagers express what is going on in their minds, and to notice that they started the process to heal themselves.”
Christine Austin, Bereavement Support Worker,
Child Bereavement UK
“It is amazing how opening up topics happens so quickly and naturally. I think All the Stars Above is worth its weight in gold!”
Pam Masini, Bereavement Support Worker, Child
Bereavement Charity, United Kingdom
“All the Stars Above helped my clients to talk about things they find difficult to mention. The results I have had with All the Stars Above are consistently helpful. All the Stars Above has clearly been designed by someone experienced in bereavement. The questions are so well thought out, as is the whole tool (…).
The most special experience I have had with All the Stars Above is a child who revealed that he was having nightmares which his mother was not aware of.”
”Alan Ernesto Phillips, Juvenile Justice
Counsellor, California
“All the Stars Above brought out a lot of stories, repressed truths, anger, confusion and love. It gave real hope to a fractured family to want to find understanding and – hopefully – reconciliation. This therapeutic tool is a perfect medium for beginning dialogue and discovery and – with a trained, competent therapist – a great opportunity to help foster openness, coping and acceptance… of any loss, I am sure.”
Miranda Freriks, bereavement counsellor,
Netherlands
“…so many people become happy by playing this tool. It’s almost magical to see how children, who at first refused to talk about a huge loss in their lives, forget those intentions not to talk once they are playing All the Stars Above.”
Annet Weijers, clinical child psychologist
“In my work with children and adolescents who have lost a dear one through death, my motto is: ‘to work with sad and difficult things in an enjoyable way’. This I find exactly applicable to this tool. It is a way of facilitating communication appropriate for children as adults have often lost familiarity with the way a child speaks. All tasks of mourning are dealt with and variations between actions and words correspond to what children prefer. The element of play is a powerful tool.
All the Stars Above is designed in such a way that all participants are involved. It helps children and teens to talk about themselves, death, missing, wishes, memories, feelings, etcetera. It is easier this way than to just sit around the table together and talk. Many adults ask themselves, ‘How can I talk to my child about…?’ All the Stars Above provides the answer. It makes me very happy! I couldn’t wait for it to come out. Thank you, Daisy. Thank you on behalf of many children, adolescents and grown-ups. To me, this is a game of life. All things of life are explored naturally. Fact of life.”
Lenie Reussink, bereavement counsellor,
Netherlands
“I’ve never ever played such a beautiful game before. What a strong tool to work with mourning.”
Tineke van Asseldonk, bereavement counsellor,
Netherlands
“Ten parents played All the Stars Above with lots of effort and pleasure. I think the variation in going deep into the subject and relaxing are so well considered.”
Caroline, play therapist, Belgium
“What a beautiful and respectful way to work with loss and grief.”
Adult clients have the talking stick
Karin, 48 years old: “It was easier for me to talk about it via the game.”
Sandra, 32 years old: “It was really nice to play the game. What had happened was overwhelming, it was so good to be able to tell my story in small parts. This game makes sharing about the loss manageable!”
Rod, 44 years old: It was very special and efficient to work via this game. I could share easily. Things that I had forgotten came back up. I think it’s very intelligent to create something like this!
Daniella, 49 years old: What a nice game. I was impressed by the card box and the uncountable number of cards. The game certainly invited me to share about what happened. Every question nearly drew a life story out of me. The intensity of the feelings that the questions evoketed surprised me. I knew I had some unfinished business and the questions directly got to the core. It is a beautiful, gentle and very aimfull way to get rit of your blockades.
Ingrid, 36 years old: I liked to play this game with my daughter. I am happy that it exists and that I gained more insight in the feelings and experiences of my daughter.
Mr. Merode, 76 years old:“It was a delight to participate in an ‘All the Stars Above peer group for the elderly’. The sympathy of everyone helped me a lot. In my environment I could share my story about the loss of my wife after two years of illness, but after the first time I hear them think, ‘Oh, here he comes again.’ During All the Stars Above you sometimes say things twice but you get the space to talk about it. I really had the feeling it had to get out.
I now play bowls, it gives me relaxation and I belong somewhere. All the Stars Above contributed to this. It got to the heart of the matter and that absolutely helped me. I can recommend this to everyone.
With a smile I think back of our group. The questions on those cards were the reason why we all stayed and kept talking with each other afterwards.”
Eva, 49 years old: “Since my daughter died, quite some years ago, this is the first time I could just tell my story without being interrupted by others.”
“…A pleasurable ride!”
Peter (51) lost his wife because of lung cancer:
“I experienced firsthand what the stimulating power of All the Stars Above can do. I am not easy to impress by nature and because of my background as a scientist, but I don’t think that I am exaggerating if I say that I am very impressed by this tool! The questions asked really reach into your emotional self. It can be a roller coaster but in the end I found it a pleasurable ride!”
Children and teens have the floor
Teenagers and children after playing All the Stars Above
Linda, 14 years old: I liked this better than just talking. I share more than in a normal conversation.
Kevin, 12 years old: I think it was awesome. Now they know how I feel, and I know what they feel. I thought we were just going to talk, but we did this game and I liked it much better than talking.
Mia, 17 years old: Because of the questions we finally talked about something else. It was nice to talk in this way. It doesn’t feel like ‘working’.
Sem, 12 years old: I liked to do the game, allthough I first thought I wouldn’t because the subject is hard. I could share things that I wouldn’t say to my mum myself. Such as about my stepfather. Nice assignments.
Anne-Mary, 8 years old: “All the Stars Above was fun, it helped me to feel happy even when I was sad.”
Peter, 14 years old. This game helped me to share my feelings and to deal with the big loss of my mother. The questions gave me an idea what to talk about. It is also less sad to play this game. I can express my sorrows in a playful way… I also like the Indian Talking Stick, because I’ve got something to hold on to while I talk.”
Robin, 12 years old: I think it was really nice to do the game, much better than talking. It was also funny, not only sad.
Iris, 9 years old: “It is a nice game when one of your family members has died. You can learn a lot from it because you can find out that crying isn’t that bad.”
Lea, 8 years old: “I liked it with the questions and to talk about it with this game. Drawing was lovely!
Rosemary, 15 years old: “I liked to play All the Stars Above. It helped me to talk more about the death of my father. I dared to tell more openly, because the other players had had the same experience. What I liked about All the Stars Above is that I started to think about things I never thought about before.”
“I remembered more than I thought…”
Sandy (8) was very young when her father died.
“By answering the questions in All the Stars Above I found out that I remembered more about my father than I thought. That made me happy! My mother and brother also told new things to me.”
Booklet with information and cases
Make sharing about loss managable for your client, read more in our information booklet!
Would you like to receive more information about the therapeutic tool All the Stars Above? Or would you like to stay informed? Then register.
In this free guide (pdf) you will find:
- Different sample cards from All the Stars Above – fun to print and try!
- All information at a glance. Also useful if you do not decide on the purchase yourself
- 5 cases from therapists and counsellors who have been using All the Stars Above:
– Case: ‘The death of an ex-partner’, about the 59 year old Jane.
– Case: ‘It gave real hope to a fractured family who want to find understanding’, about the 16 year old John.
– Case: ‘Opening up with each question’, about the 13 year old Anna.
– Case: ‘A new family situation after the death of both parents, about two girls aged 9 and 11 and their aunt.
– Case: ‘Sharing your sorrow after many years of marriage’ about senior John.
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Contactdetails
Practice and enterprise: Daisy Luiten
Daisy Jeurink-Luiten
Art Therapist
Willem Kesstraat 18
7425 GK Deventer
Netherlands
+31 (0)570 869 113
https://www.daisyluiten.com
info@daisyluiten.com
Chamber of Commerce No: 27353314
VAT No: NL002017162B38
ING-bank IBAN: NL16INGB0004295377
ING-bank BIC/SWIFT: INGBNL2A
Time zone
The time zone currently being used in the Netherlands is: UTC + 2 CEST Central European Summer Time
(UTC + 1, CET, Central European Time commences at October 29th 2023).
Working days
Monday, Wednesday & Friday: 8.45 am to 1.45 pm
Tuesday & Thursday: 8.45 am to 4.45 pm
Reachable via email or phone (also voicemail).
Training
Training can be ordered online. We can set a time that works with both our time-zones.
Frequently asked questions – FAQ
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How long does a session take?
This tool is developed for you as therapist. You can use it depending on how much time your sessions last as a therapist. There are two ways of playing:
– For the board game you can think of 45-90 minutes (depending on the length of your session and the number of participants).
– For the octahedron game element 10 to 15 minutes can be enough. Of course you can spend more time with the octahedron and the card tray.
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Can All the Stars Above also be used for adults?
Yes, absolutely! All the Stars Above is suitable for ages 6-100. The cards are printed on both sides, one side is for age group 6-12 years old and the other side is for 12 years and older. The questions do have the same subject, but are asked in a different manner. This way children know what the meaning of the question is and teenagers and adults don’t find the question childish.
All the Stars Above is also a great tool for older people. I’ve seen changes in people’s lives after the death of a spouse after being married for 30, 40 or even 50 years. Those people didn’t know how to go on living after being together for such a long time, and by sharing their stories while playing the game, they were able to grieve and to find a new way of living. They went out again, found new hobbies and met new friends!
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With how many participants can I use All the Stars Above at the same time?
All the Stars Above contains 8 counters, so you can play it with 8 participants. However I sometimes let people share a pearl. In that situation they throw the die, land on a category, ‘feelings’ for instance, and then they both receive a different card from that category. And they may answer the question after each other.
In the game box you will also find the octahedron, an eight-sided die – with this game element you can play All the Stars Above in a more simplified way. The octahedron is also very useful for larger groups or families. All eight sides of the die correspond to a category. The participant receives his own question card from the category he lands on and may answer it. Take care that there is enough time for everyone to share his story.
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Why can it only be played under the supervision of a therapist?
All the Stars Above is developed especially to be used by therapists within a therapeutic setting. The questions and assignments invite clients to share feelings, thoughts and worries around the loss of a dear one. The intention is that you, as a therapist, support your clients in this process. Clients are in a vulnerable position and the questions may evoke a lot of emotions. It is of great importance to use this tool in a professional and respectful way. We definitely advise against giving this tool to clients to play by themselves at home. This can make problems worse.
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I think the price of the game is pretty high for a game, how come?
First of all All the Stars Abvobe is not just a game, it is a very well thought-out, thoroughly developed therapeutic tool. It cannot be compared to a general board game. There’s a lot in it, there are a lot of components and more than 700 cards. It is not only high quality in terms of material, but also in content.
Secondly, because this tool was developed for a limited target group, a small number of copies are made compared to an ordinary board game (they print millions). As a result, the start-up costs for production are much higher than with regular board games. Apart from that there are many more costs such as trademark registration and storage. So far our company is more like a non-profit organisation: I follow my mission to help people worldwide to go on living after a radical experience in their life. So far I haven’t earned anything but experiences and lovely reactions with this tool.
Christine Austin, a Bereavement Support Worker in the United Kingdom, works with All the Stars Above, and she is very clear about it: “It’s amazing how opening up topics happens so quickly and naturally. I think All the Stars Above is worth its weight in gold!”.
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Can I only use All the Stars Above with families?
No, you can use All the Stars Above also individually and within groups. As a therapist you decide in each situation what is desired. Within a group the tool can promote a lot of recognition and understanding. I have used All the Stars Above many times within peer groups. And although everyone has their own loss, the different stories provide so much recognition. Afterwards they looked for each other and started conversations: “You mentioned that with the question you received, but you know what happened to me?!” So beautiful!
I’ve also used it with blended families. It’s so good to share these experiences and see family members open up to each other and to get more understanding about each other’s behaviour.
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How do I introduce the game to my (adult) clients?
During the introductory meeting, I briefly explain the different therapeutic methods I use in my practice. I explain that All the Stars Above is specially developed to facilitate sharing about the loss of a dear one, and also that I use it often and that people like to play it.
Another simple way to introduce it is to use the octahedron. This eight-sided die is a game element that helps to use All the Stars Above in a simplified way. You can take the die and the card tray, and ask your client to roll the die and he then receives a corresponding card. This way your client can experience how All the Stars Above works.
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Can this game also be used for mentally challenged people?
Yes, you can use All the Stars Above for this group of people as well. However they do need to have the level of understanding compared to children from approximately age 6 or older to be able to actually play the game.
If you are doing a family session where someone with mental disabilities or a very young child is not able to participate, know that there are other solutions. Perhaps you can give them a ‘role’ to pass on the talking stick from one person to another. Or to pass on the cards. This way they feel welcome and important to join and they are part of the meeting.
I once played the game with a family where the granddad had died. Grandma, their three daughters and four grandchildren were there. One of them was only 1 year old. But she joined in perfectly. They sang a song together which Granddad liked and she drew a picture when the others drew an answer to a question of the game. Even the mum of the one-year-old was able to just be there and share her experiences. There was so much connection. Beautiful!
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I am asked to help in a school situation where a classmate died. Can I use All the Stars Above with a larger group?
Yes you can. Within All the Stars Above you will find a special die (the octahedron) which you can use for larger groups. Sitting in a circle, the children take turns to roll the die, receive the corresponding question card and answer their question. This way you can use the therapeutic tool in a simplified manner, as there is no need to use the entire board game, but there is enough room for them to share their thoughts and feelings.
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Does this tool fit to my working method as a therapist?
You are the therapist and you will have control during the use of this tool, just like in every other session. The questions of the game open up the conversation, but you are the one that makes interventions or asks deeper questions. And the more you use the tool, the more you will make it your own ‘game’. There are different ways in which you can play it. Apart from talking you can for instance also invite your client to draw or write.
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Can I also use the game during online sessions?
Yes, that is possible. I use two cameras for that. This way the client sees me and the game board at the same time. You can still go deep.
Beforehand you should determine how playful you want make it for the client (especially for children), for example:
– Prepare the game at your place and let the client throw a die himself.
– Or only put the card box near you and let the client choose a colour.
You read the question and the client answers it. You also have the option to give the client an assignment, perhaps for the next session. For example: draw the answer to this question. In this way, the client can also actively engage in the process in the meantime.
Contactdetails
Practice and enterprise: Daisy Luiten
Daisy Jeurink-Luiten
Art Therapist
Willem Kesstraat 18
7425 GK Deventer
Netherlands
+31 (0)570 869 113
https://www.daisyluiten.com
info@daisyluiten.com
Chamber of Commerce No: 27353314
VAT No: NL002017162B38
ING-bank IBAN: NL16INGB0004295377
ING-bank BIC/SWIFT: INGBNL2A
Time zone
The time zone currently being used in the Netherlands is: UTC + 2 CEST Central European Summer Time
(UTC + 1, CET, Central European Time commences at October 29th 2023).
Working days
Monday, Wednesday & Friday: 8.45 am to 1.45 pm
Tuesday & Thursday: 8.45 am to 4.45 pm
Reachable via email or phone (also voicemail).
Training
Training can be ordered online. We can set a time that works with both our time-zones.
Proudly designed and copyright © Daisy Luiten. All Rights Reserved.
Pictures (TR) by Tamara Raijer Photograpy, Deventer, Netherlands.
Pictures (JS) by Jessica Scholtes Photograpy, Papendrecht, Netherlands.